​(Inter)National football league week 5 preview:

Since Reeb doesn't write articles, we've outsourced his work:

Listening to this last podcast I took note of two main things, a continued dialogue on the strangeness of the Belichick gene pool along with how it expresses itself, and the twinge of pain I felt witnessing the dwindling number of “experts” on the show. While I cannot fix the bizarre family tree that stems from one of football’s greatest coaches, I can take the same mindset as Detroit’s O-line and decide that it’s next man up time. Put me in coach! I don’t have any technical issues to face, I don’t have a small child to raise in a 17-game season with the extra teaching that implies, and my gambling debts haven’t caught up with me yet - so really, besides a lack of truly extensive knowledge on football like the rest of the profootballjokes staff, I’m basically the perfect addition. With a background in soccer, pediatric nursing and poor bets, I hope to provide a spark to the show (when available) while providing content for the site that reflects my unique perspective as an expert in a sport that has trouble claiming to even be the 4th most popular sport in the US.

That being said, this week sees Cordarelle Patterson attempt to achieve international superstardom at my favorite soccer team’s stadium as the Jets take on the Falcons at Tottenham Hotspur stadium in London Sunday morning. Jolly good! I fully realize that the biggest issue with the above statement for most would be with defining exactly what a “hotspur” is. Some distant cousin of the San Antonio Spurs? Michael Carter’s future nickname after he carves up the Falcon’s D? Or perhaps some nickname for a cock from a 100 odd years ago that a bunch of schoolboys in England thought they should name a football club after? The answer’s some combination of all of those and probably more - but none of that’s important. What is important is like Tottenham Hotspurs, the Jets were good in the 60s, hail from major cities in their respective countries, are impressive in the extent to which they’re bottlers, and at this point their fans would honestly just be happy to finish above their local rivals. And omens are not looking particularly positive on that last front for both teams this year…but I’ll drop the soccer informatics and officially focus on analyzing this exciting Sunday morning matchup!

This weekend, we await on the edge of our collective seats to stand witness for the matchup that international fans have been clamoring for since they realized that football actually describes a game that you mainly use your hands for…the (1-3) NY Jets vs the (1-3) Atlanta Falcons. Clearly the NFL is putting their best foot forward in advertising the league since they’re only following this up with the Jags facing the ever imposing Dolphins later in the year. But alas! We have a battle for the ages on our hands this Sunday! Or better yet, a battle of ages, as we see the stud apparent, Zach Wilson, attempt another Patrick Mahomes impression while facing a heating up, and ever aging, Matty Ice. Prior to Calvin Ridley being left off the plane as if he were re-enacting Home Alone, I liked the idea of the over (45.5 at time of writing) and this game truly turning into a wild west shootout. Matt Ryan rising to the occasion with the increasingly necessary cialis in his old age for another milestone just sounded like the narrative that made the most sense. And doing it in front of a crowd less likely to know the meaning behind 28-3 seemed like the best place to continue his rediscovering of his throwing arm. But now in the absence of Ridley and even Russell Gage to carve up the Jets [at baseline] depleted secondary, I anticipate some issues to arise from throwing to a guy by the name of Olamide Zaccheaus. That being said, having a future hall-of-famer such as Kyle Pitts might be able to paper over those small cracks and I could be wrong about everything as Matt shows that ice in his veins once again.

With the wideout selection being so slim for the Falcons and the public being so fickle to overcorrections, some might be expecting another Cordarrelle Patterson explosion incoming. But truly, the Jet’s run defense (and defense in general) hasn’t been so awful and I think their offense puts up points in front of those redcoats, so the Falcons are really going to have to air it out to Zacc attack and the future hall-of-famer. On the other side of the ball, Zach Wilson and Robert Saleh won’t find a better opportunity to get their second win of the year as they hope to get their first winning streak going together! Wilson will have to prove that his game against the Titans is why the Jets drafted him 2nd overall rather than his performances against the Pats and Broncos setting the expectation that the Jets’ll do another rebuild in about 3 years. I pray for the former, and with weapons like Corey Davis and Jamison Crowder clicking with their new commander & chief and Michael Carter attempting to show the fallacy in the Rb committee approach, I think there’s a good chance this offense really gets going. Of course, rookie qbs can always throw a spanner in predictions as they adapt to a new league and now a freaking new country, so all bets are off…

Ultimately, I’m still going to bet on this game though, and I like a touchdown or 2 field goals being the separator between these two teams. Betting Jets -5.5 and calling it a day. 

Full disclosure: along with being a Tottenham Hotspur fan, I am also a bit of a gang green guy. This article was brought to you courtesy of bias.