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Let’s take a look at the standings:
Pep: 163-101 Reeb: 161-103 Jemp: 161-103 Alx: 155-109 Screw: 150-114 Reeb stayed true to his Bengal fandom and went a solid 0-4 in the first round of the playoffs, pushing Pep into the lead. I managed to win the week, maybe giving me a fighting chance to win this thing. So let’s pick some games. Colts at Chiefs: Jemp: Colts, Reeb: Chiefs, Pep: Colts, Screw: Colts Patrick Mahomes might be a lock for MVP right now, but Chiefs fans have to be nervous with Andrew Luck coming to town. They must remember him torching their defense for one of the biggest comebacks in playoff history, second only to his own head coach. However, that last matchup was in Indy, so Chiefs fans must feel good about having home-field advantage. They have only lost 6 straight playoff games in Arrowhead, so their luck (no pun intended) has to turn around sometime, right? This is a different team with Patrick Mahomes at quarterback, but when this team gets in a shootout with an explosive offense, we have seen them lose. It could be just some bad luck (seriously, just trying to use a normal word), but I’m going to trust the quarterback who I have seen come through in the clutch in these situations. Reeb might be gifted one of the most favorable lone-wolves of the season, but based on his performance last week, I feel pretty confident in picking the Colts. Prediction: Colts win 38-35 Cowboys at Rams: Jemp: Rams, Reeb: Rams, Pep: Cowboys, Screw: Rams I’m not sure if Pep realizes he is in the lead right now. But maybe he isn’t just trying to gain an edge here and he actually believes in the Cowboys. Or perhaps he just doesn’t trust the Rams, who haven’t been quite the same since they were pummeled in the Windy City. Now Jared Goff will have to face another punishing defense that proved it wasn’t going to let the running game beat it last week. That means Goff will have to air it out a little, and hope his offensive line is back to full form to protect against Demarcus Lawrence and company. I’m not all that confident in Goff, but I’m even less confident in the Cowboys offense on the road, especially when it was not that long ago that they put up a goose-egg in Indy. Prediction: Rams win 20-16 Chargers at Patriots: Jemp: Chargers, Reeb: Patriots, Pep: Patriots, Screw: Chargers This might be the toughest game for me to pick. The Chargers have looked like the better team all year, but the Patriots are undefeated at home. Yet, the Chargers haven’t lost a game outside of LA (or Carson), but Philip Rivers has never beaten Tom Brady. Then of course, there is the issue of snow, which conventional logic says should favor the team from Foxboro. Never have I felt so nervous about picking the Patriots to win at home, but I also can’t bring myself to pick against them. I’m sticking with the washed-up dynasty that might be lacking in a lot of areas, but they do know how to win. Prediction: Patriots win 22-20 Eagles at Saints: Jemp: Saints, Reeb: Saints, Pep: Eagles, Screw: Eagles Alright, if Nick Foles manages to win this game, I’ll admit that he has some sort of Tebow-ish magic that allows him to pull wins out of his ass. For the past few weeks, Foles hasn’t been sensational by any means, but he makes the critical plays while the team around him has regained its super bowl form. The defense is probably playing even better than it did last season, while the offense is just frustratingly hard to stop in key situations. They don’t move up and down the field, but there is very little you can do when Foles hits the strong outstretched hands of Zach Ertz or Alshon Jeffery. However, despite the Saints recent struggles, I would be shocked if the Eagles manage to take down this group in the Superdome. But I guess crazier things have happened. Prediction: Saints win 34-17 Let’s take a look at the standings:
Reeb: 161-95 Pep: 159-97 Jemp: 157-99 Alx: 149-107 Screw: 146-110 I managed to dig myself an even deeper hole, but fortunately playoff games are worth double, so I still have a chance. It might be slim, but after making my picks, even I am rooting against myself. But at least there is some great football on, so let’s pick some games! Colts at Texans: Jemp: Colts, Reeb: Texans, Pep: Colts, Screw: Texans Finally, a year where there are no Titans, Dolphins, or Bills in the playoffs. All four matchups this week feature teams with a legitimate shot at making a run. Even the Saturday afternoon game is a fun matchup, only slightly marred by the broadcast of the game. The NFL should consider using all-star broadcasting crews for the playoffs like they do with officials, if only so we don’t have to listen to Jason Witten for another game. At least we will probably have a few things to make fun of Booger for, and watching Andrew Luck vs. Deshaun Watson might even live up to the excitement that Joe Tessitore exudes on every play. I am excited to root on my man Deshaun in this game, but I think the Colts are the better team right now. Prediction: Colts win 31-30 Seahawks at Cowboys: Jemp: Seahawks, Reeb: Seahawks, Pep: Seahawks, Screw: Cowboys The Cowboys have been great at home all year, and the Seahawks have been mediocre on the road. The Cowboys also clearly have the better defense, despite the fact that an Odell-less Giants team put up 35 points against them last week. It’s hard to take meaningless Week 17 games too seriously. However, the Cowboys offense has not been even close to as good as the Seahawks offense, which you might not know considering all the hype that Amari Cooper gets. Who would have thought he would disappear after having a few monster games? Anyway, I trust Russ to get this one done, but unfortunately, I need to go against the grain to get back into the race here, so I’ve got to take the Cowboys. Prediction: Cowboys win 25-24 Chargers at Ravens: Jemp: Chargers, Reeb: Ravens, Pep: Chargers, Screw: Ravens This is the game I’m most looking forward to, as these might be the two best teams in the AFC. Maybe that’s disrespectful to the Chiefs, but these teams at least have to be in the conversation considering how they have played. The Ravens are as hot as any team in football, guided by terrorizing defense and a soul-crushing ground attack. Never mind the non-existent passing game, as Lamar Jackson just needs to make a few big throws to lead his team to wins. However, the one benefit for the Chargers in this game is that they get to play this game on the road. That’s right, assuming we don’t get a Colts-Chargers AFC championship game, we only have one more year of the StubHub Center. Then the Chargers get a much larger stadium for their imaginary fans. Prediction: Ravens win 24-20 Eagles at Bears: Jemp: Bears, Reeb: Bears, Pep: Bears, Screw: Eagles Well, since everyone ahead of me in the standings is taking the Bears, I guess I will continue the trend of picking against the team I’m rooting for. I don’t really expect the Eagles to pull this one out, but I guess if their defense continues to play the way it has been playing, and Nick Foles doesn’t turn the football over, they are just a bad Mitch Trubisky game away from a win here. Sure, they might have the worst secondary in the league, a non-existent running game, and a quarterback who has been consistently inconsistent throughout his career, but they are underdogs. I think I might throw up after picking the Eagles and Cowboys in the same pick’em, but at least I can pull a Reeb/Screw here and put myself in a no-lose situation. Prediction: Eagles win 14-13 Let’s take a look at the standings:
Reeb: 147-93 Pep: 146-94 Jemp: 143-97 Alx: 139-101 Screw: 135-105 I managed to win the week again, but time is running short for me to make my comeback. However, as a Bengals fan, I can always count on Reeb to choke in the playoffs. So let’s pick some games. Dolphins at Bills: Jemp: Bills, Reeb: Bills, Pep: Bills, Screw: Dolphins You might not be aware, but the Dolphins played a football game last weekend. Don’t worry, you didn’t miss much other than the brief return of Blake Bortles. Anyway, you probably have better things to do over the holidays than watch the Dolphins play the Bills in what is the professional equivalent of the Cheez-it Bowl. In Week 17, I trust the Bills effort more than the Dolphins, so I’ll stick with the Bills at home. Prediction: Bills win 20-17 Falcons at Buccaneers: Jemp: Falcons, Reeb: Falcons, Pep: Falcons, Screw: Falcons Another game with very little to talk about, but maybe the Bucs will play hard for Dirk Koetter’s job? Okay, not really, but Jameis should at least play hard for his own job, and we all know he would never choke under the pressure. However, he always seems to play his best in meaningless Week 17 games, so why not try to gain an edge by picking the Bucs at home. Prediction: Buccaneers win 31-27 Cowboys at Giants: Jemp: Cowboys, Reeb: Cowboys, Pep: Cowboys, Screw: Cowboys I’m not sure if the Cowboys will rest anyone, but I expect the Giants will leave Odell out in this one. However, since I need to make up some ground, I’m going to count on Cooper Rush coming in and playing like the next Nathan Peterman. Okay, he doesn’t need to play that bad, but hopefully Saquon can end the season strong after a couple quiet weeks. Prediction: Giants win 24-20 Panthers at Saints: Jemp: Saints, Reeb: Saints, Pep: Saints, Screw: Panthers The Saints have already announced that Drew Brees will rest for this one, and yet they still have a big advantage at the quarterback position. It will be fun to watch Teddy B lead the troops and he is playing for a bid payday as the top quarterback that will be hitting free agency. Somehow, I don’t think Taylor Heinicke will be getting the same type of contract, so I think I can chalk this one up for the Saints. Prediction: Saints win 31-13 Jets at Patriots: Jemp: Patriots, Reeb: Patriots, Pep: Patriots, Screw: Patriots Todd Bowles might blame the refs for last week’s loss, and I might be with him considering what it did to my pick’em record, but it couldn’t have worked out better for Jets fans. They watch Sam Darnold evolve into someone who could actually turn into a franchise quarterback, and they don’t hurt their draft choice in the process. They handed the Packers their sole road win, and now have the chance to deal the Pats their lone home loss. However, I think the Patriots hang on to their bye for the 9th year in a row. Prediction: Patriots win 27-24 Jaguars at Texans: Jemp: Texans, Reeb: Texans, Pep: Texans, Screw: Texans It was a nice performance by the Jaguars defense last week, but they have seemed to follow up all their good performances with a well-deserved rest. This week should be no different, except the Jaguars can continue their rest all the way until next fall when they have a new coach and quarterback. Hopefully Jalen Ramsey won’t be too broken up about it. Prediction: Texans win 23-10 Lions at Packers: Jemp: Lions, Reeb: Packers, Pep: Packers, Screw: Packers Aaron Rodger had another dazzling comeback last week and all he needed was a franchise record for penalties in order to beat the Jets in overtime. However, they are back at home this week, and I expect them to still be motivated to get a win. Alright, I have no idea who will put forth more effort, but I guess I’ll take the Packers in Lambeau as Joe Philbin makes his case for Packers head coach. Prediction: Packers win 27-24 Eagles at Redskins: Jemp: Eagles, Reeb: Eagles, Pep: Eagles, Screw: Eagles This Nick Foles joke has to come to an end, and the Redskins are the perfect team to do it. Foles played two good games last year and they happened to be the most important two games of the season. This year, he has also played two good games, so I expect this week he will return to being bad Nick Foles. Not that it matters because the Redskins will destroy him anyway. Prediction: Redskins win 200-0 Chargers at Broncos: Jemp: Chargers, Reeb: Chargers, Pep: Chargers, Screw: Chargers It was a good loss last week for the Chargers as they don’t want to play at home in the playoffs. They are now comfortable where they are, on the road for the rest of the year, assuming they don’t play the 6 seed in the AFC championship. However, if you are playing week 17 fantasy, then maybe Royce Freeman can finally be a good fantasy option with Phillip Lindsay out. Prediction: Chargers win 24-6 Raiders at Chiefs: Jemp: Chiefs, Reeb: Chiefs, Pep: Chiefs, Screw: Chiefs I successfully lone-wolfed the Raiders last week but wouldn’t possibly thinking of doing that again. It was nice when they were playing a banged up Broncos team in Oakland, but this week is a little different. The Chiefs are a home win against the Raiders away from locking up the 1 seed. I like their chances. Prediction: Chiefs win 34-17 Bears at Vikings: Jemp: Vikings, Reeb: Bears, Pep: Bears, Screw: Vikings The Vikings offense started off really slow last week, but the final numbers look pretty good at least. I’m not totally convinced the Vikings offense is fixed, but I’ll still trust it more than the Bears offense, especially with this game in Minnesota. While I might not totally trust them, the Vikings are as dangerous as anyone if they make it into the playoffs. And I certainly don’t think Mitch Trubisky will be the one to keep them out. Prediction: Vikings win 24-13 Browns at Ravens: Jemp: Ravens, Reeb: Ravens, Pep: Browns, Screw: Browns This one is tough for me. I want the Browns to finish strong, but I also want the Ravens to make it into the playoffs. However, this is a matchup between two pretty evenly matched teams, so I’ll take the home team that has much more to gain. I almost think the Steelers are just destined to make the playoffs which will cause the Browns to win, but I trust the Ravens to win a game that they need to. Although, they didn’t do it last year. Prediction: Ravens win 23-21 49ers at Rams: Jemp: Rams, Reeb: Rams, Pep: Rams, Screw: Rams The 49ers have been playing hard the past few weeks as they beat the Seahawks and hung in there against the Bears. However, even if the Saints lock up home field in the early games, they still need this game to hang on to a bye in case the Bears win. However, I wouldn’t be completely shocked if the 49ers were able to pull off an upset here with the way these teams have been playing as of late. I’m not bold enough to pick them outright though. Prediction: Rams win 28-20 Bengals at Steelers: Jemp: Steelers, Reeb: Steelers, Pep: Steelers, Screw: Steelers Unless the Steelers are too busy watching the Ravens game to pay attention to the Bengals, I don’t see this game mattering in the grand scheme of things. We are all assuming the Steelers will take care of business here, but it would be a very Steelers move if they end up missing the playoffs because they blow a game against the Bengals. Prediction: Steelers win 21-7 Cardinals at Seahawks: Jemp: Seahawks, Reeb: Seahawks, Pep: Seahawks, Screw: Seahawks Pete Carroll doesn’t seem like one to rest his starters in a spot like this, and even Brett Hundley might be a better option than Josh Rosen. Okay, maybe that’s going a bit far, but at least Hundley would have a running game to lean on, no matter who is carrying the rock. Going against a Cardinals defense that just allowed CJ Anderson to rush for 167 yards. Prediction: Seahawks win 27-14 Colts at Titans: Jemp: Colts, Reeb: Colts, Pep: Colts, Screw: Titans Do I really need to say anything here? Prediction: Colts win 38-3 Let’s take a look at the standings:
Reeb: 137-87 Pep: 136-88 Jemp: 134-90 Alx: 128-96 Screw: 125-99 You may not realize it, but I actually inched closer to the top last week. I might need a Christmas miracle to get back in the race, but at least I feel good about not ending up in last. Now let’s pick some games. Redskins at Titans: Jemp: Titans, Reeb: Titans, Pep: Redskins, Screw: Titans It looks like Derrick Henry is climbing his way back up the fantasy draft boards so he can fall way short of expectations again next year. Despite the nice couple of games, I’m not too impressed by wins over the Jets, Jags, and Giants. Just wait until Josh Johnson takes it to them. Prediction: Redskins win 100,000 - 0 Ravens at Chargers: Jemp: Chargers, Reeb: Chargers, Pep: Chargers, Screw: Ravens This one hurts me to my core, but I know I need to catch up, so I’m going a little bold. The Chargers have managed impressive comebacks against the Chiefs and Steelers in the past 3 weeks, but of course both of those were on the road. Now they have to go back to the most depressing place on Earth, and I expect a little bit of a letdown against a surging Ravens team. I have no doubt that the Chargers are the better team, but these narrow wins are bound to catch up with them eventually. Although, if they are evening out the narrow losses they’ve had in the recent past, then they might not lose a close game for another few years. Prediction: Ravens win 23-20 Bengals at Browns: Jemp: Browns, Reeb: Browns, Pep: Browns, Screw: Bengals If there was ever a coaching revenge game, it would be this one, as Hue Jackson has gotten trashed by almost all his former Browns players. Then again, he’s been demolished by nearly every team he’s ever played against and he’s never gotten any revenge on them. However, the Bengals have played better over the past 2 weeks and even managed a win against the lowly Raiders. At least their defense is playing well, but their offense is just out of options, with Jeff Driskel having to throw the ball to Auden Tate and Cody Core. The Browns are still fighting for a playoff spot, so I expect them to play hard in this one. Prediction: Browns win 24-14 Buccaneers at Cowboys: Jemp: Cowboys, Reeb: Cowboys, Pep: Cowboys, Screw: Cowboys Such an opportunity for a lone wolf here, but I can’t do it with the Cowboys at home. The Cowboys might be slightly overrated as a team, but they have one of the best defenses in the NFL. The Bucs are working their way up to an average defense, which is nice for them I guess. Other than that, I don’t think there is anything to be gained from playing more football for the Bucs. Their coach is packing up his things, their quarterback is hoping Kareem Hunt made people forget about him, and the rest of their team is wondering if they can take a Christmas vacation. You’ll be in the offseason soon Bucs. Prediction: Cowboys win 24-17 Vikings at Lions: Jemp: Lions, Reeb: Vikings, Pep: Vikings, Screw: Vikings Well it looks like firing John Defillipo seems to have fixed the Vikings. At least as long as they play the Dolphins every week. Maybe it’s just the fact that I love Kirk, but I think this was just the spark the Vikings needed. With all their offensive struggles recently, people haven’t taken notice that they are back to having one of the best defenses in the league. Now their offense looks like it could be back to form, and if it can just be above average, this is certainly a dangerous team in the playoffs. Prediction: Vikings win 31-17 Bills at Patriots: Jemp: Patriots, Reeb: Patriots, Pep: Patriots, Screw: Patriots Josh Gordon is suspended again, Gronk can barely move, Brady is afraid to get hit, and Belichick is coaching a team with 15 penalties. It looks like the Patriots dynasty could be coming to an end, but not if the Bills have anything to say about it! While the Bills have been feisty, the Patriots are still undefeated at home, and I expect them to rebound after an embarrassing loss to the Steelers. Prediction: Patriots win 27-10 Packers at Jets: Jemp: Jets, Reeb: Packers, Pep: Packers, Screw: Jets Man, this one is tough, I was expecting everyone to go with the Packers on this one, but Screw and Jemp think the Packers complete an entire season without a single victory on the road. They are 0-7, and the Jets are their last chance. And what makes it tougher is that the Jets have been playing a lot better since Sam Darnold came back from his injury. He put up a nice fight against the Texans and I’m going to say he manages a win against a Packers team that seems like it’s getting ready for 2019, when somehow everyone is still going to predict they will go to the Super Bowl. Prediction: Jets win 27-24 Texans at Eagles: Jemp: Texans, Reeb: Texans, Pep: Texans, Screw: Texans Here is Nick Foles back to save the Eagles season, just like he did last year. At least, that is what everyone is saying. Don’t mind the fact that last year he took over a team that was already the best team in the NFL and made them considerably worse until playing out of his mind for the NFC championship game and the Super Bowl. This year, he is taking over a team that should thank me for calling them average, and played a good game against a slumping Rams team. We all know Nick Foles has the ability to lead the Eagles to win here, but I’m not betting on it, even with the chance to lone-wolf this one. Prediction: Texans win 31-17 Falcons at Panthers: Jemp: Falcons, Reeb: Falcons, Pep: Panthers, Screw: Falcons I was prepared to take the Panthers earlier in the week, but it’s a little tougher with Taylor Heinicke starting for the Panthers. Then again, I did predict the Falcons to lose to Josh Rosen last week which might have been even bolder. However, I have learned my lesson from that game, and I won’t take the ODU quarterback when I questioned the fact that the Panthers were even daring to go into the year with Heinicke as their only other quarterback. Last year, it took the Texans going through 4 other quarterbacks before Heinicke managed to take a snap for them, but I guess they were just loaded with Tom Savage, Brandon Weeden, and the great TJ Yates backing up Deshaun Watson. Prediction: Falcons win 27-6 Giants at Colts: Jemp: Colts, Reeb: Colts, Pep: Colts, Screw: Colts I’m not sure what’s going on with Odell, other than him screwing over my fantasy teams, but there is no way I’m taking this Giants team again after that performance against the Titans. Not that the Titans defense is bad, but still, they couldn’t do anything against them. As for the Colts, they seem to be back on a roll, and if you listened to the podcast, I told you what a difference having Ryan Kelly in at center makes for them. Just ask the guy who started Marlon Mack against me in fantasy last week. Sorry that I keep bringing up my fantasy team, but you have to admit it’s more interesting than the Giants. Prediction: Colts win 30-10 Jaguars at Dolphins: Jemp: Dolphins, Reeb: Dolphins, Pep: Dolphins, Screw: Dolphins I wonder if Jaguars fans miss Blake Bortles yet. Probably not, but Cody Kessler has made this team far more boring. It’s tough for me to pass up a lone wolf against the Dolphins, but I just can’t pick the Jags when they are the clearest example of a team packing up for the holidays. Jalen Ramsey admitted he’s only taking care of himself, and while I’m not too worried about his matchup against Devante Parker, it won’t really matter when Cody Kessler is putting up 6 points. The only touchdowns the Jaguars have scored in Kessler’s three starts are a garbage time toss to Dede Westbrook, and a punt return TD, also by Westbrook. Prediction: Dolphins win 21-6 Rams at Cardinals: Jemp: Rams, Reeb: Rams, Pep: Rams, Screw: Rams The Rams are in quite the slump right now, but unless they are comatose, then they aren’t going to lose to this Cardinals team. The ineptitude of the Cardinals offense is truly something to behold, as they rank dead last in point and yards per game. Even the Bills, who are 31st in both, score over 50 more yards per game than the Cardinals. Maybe Jared Goff can get back on track without any pressure to score. Prediction: Rams win 27-10 Bears at 49ers: Jemp: Bears, Reeb: Bears, Pep: Bears, Screw: Bears The 49ers kind of remind me of the Bills, where they clearly lack talent in most places, but they play hard and find a way to make things happen. DeForest Buckner had a monster game, and I think the host of successful 49ers running backs this season have overshadowed the fact that Matt Breida is pretty damn good. However, the Bears have the best defense in the NFL, and I don’t think Mitchell will screw this one up. And finally, the Bears are starting to ride Jordan Howard. Not soon enough for my fantasy teams, but I’m still happy for one of my favorite players in the league. Prediction: Bears win 23-17 Steelers at Saints: Jemp: Saints, Reeb: Steelers, Pep: Saints, Screw: Steelers I want to start by saying the Saints have a top-5 defense, but since I’ve been saying that so often, I think I need to clarify my top 5 defenses: Bears, Vikings, Cowboys, Ravens, and Saints. The Bears are clearly the best, and the other four are all not far behind. The only question is if the Saints offensive slump will be cured by the magic of the Superdome. If so, and the offense goes back to being the best in the NFL, then this team is head and shoulders above everyone else, and we might as well pencil them into the Super Bowl right now. Otherwise, I think the offense at least goes back to being above average, and they are still probably the Super Bowl favorite. Prediction: Saints win 33-17 Chiefs at Seahawks: Jemp: Chiefs, Reeb: Chiefs, Pep: Seahawks, Screw: Seahawks I know the Seahawks are coming off a loss to the 49ers, but I can’t help but be entranced by this team. I still treat CenturyLink with reverence, and I hardly ever pick the Seahawks to lose at home, at least when they are good, and this team is certainly good. The Chiefs might be better, and the fact that they lost a close game to the Chargers doesn’t worry me. However, the fact that this team has been playing close games for over a month now shows that they can be beat by anyone. Well, not anyone, but Russell Wilson certainly can, and I think he does with some help from the Twelves. Prediction: Seahawks win 31-28 Broncos at Raiders: Jemp: Broncos, Reeb: Broncos, Pep: Broncos, Screw: Broncos I couldn’t ask for a better way for Monday Night Football to come to an end. I can imagine Jason Witten’s wife begging him to stay home on Christmas eve and it has nothing to do with her wanting to spend time with him. However, I guess crazier things than Jason Witten calling a good game have happened on Christmas before. Just kidding, nothing really compares to that. Anyway, I need to get back in the pick’em, so why not pick Jon Gruden to get a win as his former colleagues take the loss. Prediction: Raiders win 17-16 Let’s take a look at the standings:
Reeb: 128-80 Pep: 127-81 Jemp: 126-82 Alx: 118-90 Screw: 115-93 It was a rough week in the pick’em, as only Jemp managed to go positive. However, the important thing is that we all got to enjoy Jags Titans, and now we get to move on to Week 15. Chargers at Chiefs: Jemp: Chargers, Reeb: Chiefs, Pep: Chiefs, Screw: Chargers Well, it isn’t quite Jaguars Titans, but I guess it will do for a Thursday Night matchup. Two of the best teams in the AFC not just in a fight for their division, but possibly the number 1 seed in the AFC as well. The Chargers have been on a roll, but Andy Reid has beat them 9 times in row now. But I’m still saying these aren’t the same old Chargers, and it looks like they could have their all-star running back for this game, while the Chiefs don’t seem to have one. Patrick Mahomes might still look like the MVP, but the Chiefs have looked very mortal recently, and I’m riding with the Bolts. Prediction: Chargers win 34-31 Texans at Jets: Jemp: Texans, Reeb: Texans, Pep: Texans, Screw: Texans Sam Darnold made his triumphant return last week, cleverly against the Bills. However, he deserves a lot of credit, not just for the highlights, or even for getting the ball to Robby Anderson, but mostly for managing to prove that he is the best quarterback on his own team. So what if his only competition was a 39-year-old journeyman QB? Unfortunately, he still has a long way to go before he can say he is better than Deshaun Watson. It’s time for the Texans to start a new winning streak. Prediction: Texans win 27-10 Browns at Broncos: Jemp: Broncos, Reeb: Browns, Pep: Browns, Screw: Browns I knew the Broncos no longer had a shot at the playoffs when Emmanuel Sanders and Chris Harris went down, but I didn’t expect them to lose to the 49ers. At least they get to go back home, but they have a much tougher test this week, the Cleveland Browns. I have to remind myself every week that I’m not joking when I say that. The Browns are fighting to have their first winning season since Derek Anderson, and they just need 3 more wins to do it. I think it starts here with a win against the Broncos. Prediction: Browns win 27-14 Packers at Bears: Jemp: Bears, Reeb: Bears, Pep: Bears, Screw: Bears Did you know that this is the oldest rivalry in the NFL? And by that, I mean it hasn’t been a real rivalry since the 60s. It always seems as if one team is far superior, usually that team being the Packers in recent years. However, this year, that team is the Bears, and I’m not really sweating the fact that the Joe Philbin managed to beat down the Falcons in Green Bay. If I’m the Bears, there is only one person who makes me nervous in this game and he happens to play the most important position on the field. However, at least he has Jordan Howard to hand the ball off to, who finally had 100 yards rushing last week. Prediction: Bears win 20-17 Lions at Bills: Jemp: Lions, Reeb: Lions, Pep: Lions, Screw: Lions If the Lions defense needed a confidence boost, then this is the perfect two-game stretch for it. Even Teez Tabor would feel like a shutdown corner, if he was playing. Although, they might have to worry about the best running quarterback in the league right now. The Bills may have lost to the Jets, but they are still a feisty team, and I think they get the best of a banged-up Lions team. Prediction: Bills win 17-13 Buccaneers at Ravens: Jemp: Ravens, Reeb: Ravens, Pep: Ravens, Screw: Ravens We have come to the point in the NFL where elite quarterbacks are getting benched. At least Eli Manning is still around. However, despite the loss, Lamar Jackson proved that his version of the Ravens is clearly the better option if this team wants to make the playoffs. He might not be a consistent passer, but he has turned the Ravens into one of the best rushing attacks in the NFL, pairing them with perhaps the best defense in the conference. On the other hand, the Bucs have played well enough to be considered the best defense Lamar Jackson has yet to face, which thankfully is a low bar, and I expect the Ravens to continue their playoff push, and probably take the lead in their division as well. Prediction: Ravens win 24-14 Cardinals at Falcons: Jemp: Falcons, Reeb: Falcons, Pep: Falcons, Screw: Falcons The Falcons are one of the teams I really don’t want to pick again for the rest of the year, but being home against the Cardinals makes that really tough. However, I’m sticking to my guns, because their defense hasn’t gotten any better with Deion Jones back, and their offense has become a shell of its former self. At least Julio Jones has remembered his way to the endzone. However, the Falcons tend to pack up the season early, so I’ll take the Cardinals, because weird things tend to happen in the NFL. Prediction: Cardinals win 20-17 Raiders at Bengals: Jemp: Raiders, Reeb: Raiders, Pep: Raiders, Screw: Raiders I’ve went with the inferior team in a few games because I think they will step up to the plate when some other teams have given up. However, in this game, I’m just going to take the better team, and that team is the Oakland Raiders. The Raiders play the first game all season where they have the better defense, and their offense has made plays the past few weeks. Derek Carr might not be worth the $25 million he’s getting paid, but he’s a lot better than Jeff Driskel. Prediction: Raiders win 27-24 Titans and Giants: Jemp: Giants, Reeb: Titans, Pep: Titans, Screw: Giants If you hung on to Derrick Henry all year in fantasy just to start him in the first week of the fantasy playoffs, you must be a fantasy genius. Either that or you just didn’t set your lineup all year but were lucky enough to autodraft a playoff team. Anyway, the Titans always follow up their impressive performances with a huge letdown, and that’s what I expect this week again. Hopefully OBJ is back for the Giants, but I trust the Titans to choke this one away regardless. Prediction: Giants win 27-16 Dolphins at Vikings: Jemp: Vikings, Reeb: Vikings, Pep: Vikings, Screw: Vikings Remember when John Defilippo was considered a head coaching candidate last offseason? Now we found out he can’t even retain an OC role for an entire year. The Vikings offense has regressed mightily in the second half of this season, and even early on it was only buoyed by the stellar play of Kirk Cousins. I could certainly see this giving the offense the boost it needs, even if it is only temporary. Their defense is playing as well as anyone this side of the Bears, so unless the Dolphins pull out another miracle, I’m confident the Vikings pull this one out. Prediction: Vikings win 28-10 Redskins at Jaguars: Jemp: Jaguars, Reeb: Jaguars, Pep: Jaguars, Screw: Jaguars Alright bring on Josh Johnson. Who cares if he attempted his first pass since 2011 last week? Or that he’s never won an NFL football game? No big deal. Besides, with a win here, he can tie Cody Kessler’s career win total. Prediction: Redskins win 100-0 Cowboys at Colts: Jemp: Colts, Reeb: Cowboys, Pep: Colts, Screw: Colts I couldn’t pick the Eagles against the Cowboys last week because the Eagles are just too poor of a football team. However, the Colts at home is the perfect team to take down the Cowboys in December. This is also a sneaky matchup between defensive rookie of the year candidates. Leighton Vander Esch and Darius Leonard are two of the best linebackers in the league right now. However, the Colts showed they can still beat anyone with the way Andrew Luck is playing, and their defense is back to being average, which I mean in a good way. The Cowboys clearly have a better defense, but I don’t expect Amari Cooper to have another 200-yard performance to carry their offense. Prediction: Colts win 24-20 Seahawks at 49ers: Jemp: Seahawks, Reeb: Seahawks, Pep: Seahawks, Screw: Seahawks I don’t know why, but I have so much fun watching the Seahawks play football. They aren’t particularly talented anywhere (other than Bobby Wagner and Russell Wilson), but they are gritty and tough. They have the best running game in the NFL, and yet Russell Wilson had their longest run of the season last week with a 40-yard run. However, the beauty of their team is their ability to churn out 5-8 yard runs. Chris Carson turns 1-yard losses into 2-yard gains, Rashad Penny can reverse field for a big run every once in a while, and Mike Davis can follow his blockers. I could spend an hour talking about the Seahawks, but the point is that as long as they don’t let George Kittle have another 200-yard game, they should be fine in this one. Prediction: Seahawks win 30-17 Patriots at Steelers: Jemp: Patriots, Reeb: Steelers, Pep: Patriots, Screw: Steelers Screw is going to cover this game in person. He is really taking one for the team driving all the way to Pittsburgh just to watch his beloved Steelers let their playoff hopes drift away. The Patriots followed their trend of losing in Miami last week, and I think they continue their trend of owning the Steelers this week. However, maybe they don’t put Gronk on defense this time? Even Bill Belichick can learn new things. Prediction: Patriots win 31-24 Eagles at Rams: Jemp: Rams, Reeb: Rams, Pep: Rams, Screw: Rams Finally we get to see the Super Bowl MVP back in action. Can’t wait to tune into Sunday Night Football for that! However, it could be fun to watch a newly motivated Sean McVay rip apart perhaps the worst secondary in the league right now. Jared Goff gets to be the beneficiary of this, as he will probably come out of this game making a statement to the world that he was the right choice for the Rams. We probably all know that Carson Wentz is actually the better player, but Goff should at least be able to enjoy this season where he clearly outplayed Wentz. Prediction: Rams win 38-14 Saints at Panthers: Jemp: Saints, Reeb: Saints, Pep: Saints, Screw: Saints I must admit, I’m a little worried about the Saints offense playing outdoors. They don’t have quite the dominant running game they had last year, but they do have the defense. Their defense might have looked atrocious early in the year, but right now it is a top-5 unit. They are allowing 12.4 points per game over their last 5 games, and I don’t expect this game to be much different against a crippled Cam Newton. However, I hope for the sake of my fantasy team that their offense can at least get the ball to Michael Thomas against a lackluster secondary. Prediction: Saints win 31-14 Let’s take a look at the standings:
Pep: 120-72 Reeb: 120-72 Jemp: 117-75 Alx: 111-81 Screw: 111-81 Thanks to Pep for writing the pick’em last week, and not dwelling on the fact that he is demolishing me in the standings. However, I’m happy to be back writing this week, just in time for Jaguars Titans. So let’s pick some games. Jaguars at Titans: Jemp: Titans, Reeb: Titans, Pep: Tie, Screw: Jaguars The Jaguars v. Titans Thursday Night game is basically a ProFootballJokes holiday, so I apologize in advance if the podcast comes out late this week. As you probably have some precious holiday memories as well, I still remember the game back in 2014 when Charlie Whitehurst fell short against the unstoppable Jaguars rushing attack led by Toby Gerhart and Jordan Todman. Good times. I have similar hopes for this year’s game as the Jaguars are coming off a game in which Cody Kessler won 6-0, and the Titans just had the most excruciatingly dull 16-point comeback I’ve partially witnessed, which was sparked by an Anthony Firkser touchdown. You can’t make this stuff up. Prediction: Jaguars win 13-10 Jets at Bills: Jemp: Bills, Reeb: Bills, Pep: Bills, Screw: Bills We’re off to a rousing start in this pick’em as we move on to another division rivalry. Who expected that we would ever get to a point in the season where we would all be taking the Bills? Certainly not me, but I have to give the team credit. They have moxie, they have heart, and as Gus Bradley would say, they have a lot of spirit. Now all they are missing is talent. Prediction: Bills win 14-13 Giants at Redskins: Jemp: Giants, Reeb: Redskins, Pep: Redskins, Screw: Giants Things may have hit an all-time low for the Redskins when Mark Sanchez is forced into the starting gig after being here for 2 weeks. At least Josh Johnson is the backup. As hard as it is for me, I just can’t go along with my usual routine of picking the Redskins to win 100-0 with this mess going on. Prediction: Redskins win 99-0 Saints at Buccaneers: Jemp: Saints, Reeb: Saints, Pep: Saints, Screw: Saints It was sad to see the Saints offense sputter as it did last Thursday, and maybe there is some truth that the offense isn’t quite as good on the road. Yet, it seems like less of an issue when guys like DeVante Harris and Carlton Davis are playing in the Bucs secondary. Somehow I don’t think Andrew Adams will be able to repeat his 3 pick performance, even though I always thought he was underutilized by the Giants. I expect the Saints to get back on track and feast on this Bucs defense. Maybe we could even see the Bucs turn back to Fitzmagic. Prediction: Saints win 38-17 Patriots at Dolphins: Jemp: Patriots, Reeb: Patriots, Pep: Patriots, Screw: Patriots Has no one heard that the Patriots struggle in Miami? Tom Brady has pulled a Jeff Fisher as he is 7-9 in South Beach. He has also lost 4 of his last 5 games at Hard Rock/[whatever the many names it was called before that] Stadium, so the Patriots must be on upset alert. However, all logic still indicates that the Patriots are going to smoke them, so I think I’ll stick with the Pats in this one. But if you are a Dolphins fan, take heart in the fact that your team has pulled out wins that are just as baffling as this one would be, so maybe you can pull it out. Prediction: Patriots win 24-17 Ravens at Chiefs: Jemp: Chiefs, Reeb: Chiefs, Pep: Chiefs, Screw: Ravens Lamar Jackson is currently running a Madden 07 offense, as the Ravens are running the ball over 65% of the time over his 3 starts. So far, it’s worked, against the 32nd, 28th, and 26th ranked defenses. The good news is that this week, they play the 31st ranked defense. The bad news is that they also have to face Patrick Mahomes and perhaps the league’s most explosive offense. However, we saw this contrast in styles when the Cowboys played the Saints, and the Cowboys shocked the world, so maybe we see something similar here. But I doubt it, as Madden 07 was a fantastic game, but I don’t know if EA correctly predicted the future of NFL offenses. Prediction: Chiefs win 30-20 Colts at Texans: Jemp: Texans, Reeb: Texans, Pep: Colts, Screw: Texans Every time I think this Texans winning streak is going to come to an end, they impress me by looking better than the week before, yet not good enough to make me think they are a true contender. However, they still possess the longest winning streak in the NFL, and probably my favorite quarterback as well. The Colts looked like a contender for the division a week ago, but after failing to score a single point against the Jags, I think the Texans keep rolling to perhaps a first-round bye? Prediction: Texans win 27-20 Falcons at Packers: Jemp: Packers, Reeb: Packers, Pep: Falcons, Screw: Falcons It was just two years ago that these teams played in the NFC championship game, and many people thought both teams had a chance to make it back there. Now the Falcons are sporting one of the worst defenses in the league, while the Packers are counting on Joe Philbin to revitalize their offense. Good luck with that. However, we do sometimes see teams respond well to a coaching change, despite the ineptitude of the interim coach. Since this game is a toss-up anyway, I might as well pick the Packers on the chance of that happening. Also, I don’t like the Falcons chances in the December weather of Green Bay. Prediction: Packers win 27-24 Panthers at Browns: Jemp: Panthers, Reeb: Browns, Pep: Browns, Screw: Panthers I don’t know which is sadder: Throwing four picks against the Bucs, or not being able to throw it farther than Taylor Heinicke. Just kidding, Heinicke has a cannon! Unfortunately, it looked like Cam couldn’t even throw it as far as OBJ, or worse, Eli Manning. That might not even be the Panthers biggest problem, as their defense is falling apart, and Ron Rivera could be gone by the end of the season. The Browns are coming off a bad loss, but their spirits must be much higher than those of Panthers fans. Prediction: Browns win 31-21 Broncos at 49ers: Jemp: Broncos, Reeb: Broncos, Pep: Broncos, Screw: Broncos Despite a win against the Bengals it has been a rough week for the Broncos. They have another easy matchup this week, but they are without their best receiver and their best corner for the rest of the year. Cortland Sutton and Daesean Hamilton were drafted to be the heir-apparents to DT and Manny Sanders, and it looks like the time has come early. Unless of course Andre Holmes can take over that top job. Anyway, it doesn’t matter this week as they are playing against the 49ers. Prediction: Broncos win 23-17 Bengals at Chargers: Jemp: Chargers, Reeb: Chargers, Pep: Chargers, Screw: Chargers What a win by the Chargers last week, as that is what we like to see from Sunday Night Football. Two good teams, a great comeback, and a bunch of weird calls/plays that result in Cris Collinsworth saying he’s never seen that before. Those are pretty much the staples of SNF. All of that occurred and the Chargers managed not to screw things up, even without Melvin Gordon. This Chargers team showed they can beat event the best teams in the league, and the Bengals don’t even come close to qualifying for that. Prediction: Chargers win 38-17 Lions at Cardinals: Jemp: Lions, Reeb: Lions, Pep: Lions, Screw: Lions Are the Cardinals trying to save Steve Wilk’s job? If so, they are taking out some other coaches in the process. I don’t know if you can feel good about the fact that it is so embarrassing to lose to this team that the coach that does it is fired on the spot. I wouldn’t put it past the Lions to do the same thing if Matt Patricia were to lose, but I think the Lions are able to take care of business here. The Cardinals now have by far the worst offense in the league in terms of yards-per-game, which is an impressive feat with the Bills still in the NFL. Somehow I don’t think Patricia is the one-and-done coach in this game. Prediction: Lions win 17-14 Steelers at Raiders: Jemp: Steelers, Reeb: Steelers, Pep: Steelers, Screw: Steelers The Steelers are starting to slide a little bit, and suddenly have the Ravens right on their heels. Now they have to defend against Marcell Ateman and company. The Raiders did start to show a little offense again last week, as Jordy Nelson came alive again, perhaps rejuvenated by the Mike McCarthy firing. However, I expect him to remember this week that Jon Gruden is still his coach and that his team is terrible, and lose badly to another AFC powerhouse. I’m not too worried the James Conner injury when playing the Raiders. With the receiver injuries as well, maybe we will see a Darrius Heyward-Bey revenge game. Prediction: Steelers win 31-21 Eagles at Cowboys: Jemp: Cowboys, Reeb: Eagles, Pep: Eagles, Screw: Eagles I’m surprised so many people are taking the Eagles in this one. Probably because none of them believe that the Cowboys are for real, and I agree to some degree as I still don’t believe they are in the class of the Saints or Rams. However, I think they are still a solid team with a top 5 defense, and the Eagles are probably about as good as the Bucs. That’s not an exaggeration. The Eagles managed to eke out a win against a lowly Giants team that forgot it had Saquon Barkley, and against a quarterback who just signed with his team 2 weeks ago and is most famous for owning the longest running worst-of-the-worst play on Sportscenter. That’s what you want out of the defending Super Bowl champions. Prediction: Cowboys win 19-13 Rams at Bears: Jemp: Rams, Reeb: Rams, Pep: Rams, Screw: Rams Great new for the Bears, Mitch Trubisky is back! Why is no one excited? Then again, I did beg the question last week if defense is back, now that December is here and the Rams will have to endure the frigid temperatures of the Windy City. The Cowboys defense shocked the world last week by shutting down the Saints, and now it will be up to Khalil Mack and company to power down McVay’s machine. It’s a tough task that I’m not betting on, but maybe they can pull this one off if their defense can step up to the challenge. I guess I should stop asking for it now, but maybe they could also feed Jordan Howard a little bit more? Prediction: Rams win 31-24 Vikings at Seahawks: Jemp: Seahawks, Reeb: Seahawks, Pep: Seahawks, Screw: Vikings I circled this game as a pivotal matchup in the NFC wild-card picture, but now I think it doesn’t really matter. With the Panthers in free-fall, Mark Sanchez leading the Redskins, the Eagles brutal schedule, and the Packers losing to the Cardinals, I expect both of these teams to make the playoffs regardless of who wins. However, it is the Vikings who desperately need some momentum, so I’m taking Kirk to go get another win in Seattle. This is more a pick made with my heart instead of my head, but I’m already in last place in the pick’em, so why not? Prediction: Vikings win 23-20 Let’s take a look at the standings: Pep: 112-64 Reeb: 111-65 Jemp: 108-68 Screw: 103-73 Alx: 103-73 It feels good to write a pickem again. Every year I take our weekly pickems for granted and I have to remind myself how long it takes to write them. Good work Alx, that’s why you’re on the payroll. Last year when I wrote the pickem I was in dead last by a lot. I mean I really messed up my picks. This year I decided to put all of my hope for bad teams aside and just pick the better team. Last week I lone wolfed the Bills. Sure, I’ll never even consider doing that again but you’ve got to be aggressive if you want to stay at the top. So with this being my one pickem I write a year, I want you to find this week’s spirit hard to be matched. Let’s make it uncomfortable. *Cue the 2014 Jags locker room cheers* Saints at Cowboys: Jemp: Saints, Reeb: Saints, Alx: Saints, Screw: Saints The Cowboys are coming into this one red hot on a 2 game win streak and it looks like things are really clicking. Dak Prescott has thrown 2 touchdowns in his last 2 games combined! Saints fans shouldn’t be worried even after their team only put up a measly 31 points to beat the Falcons by 14 last week. They’ve demolished every other NFC East team up to this point and this one won’t be any different. Thursday Night Football returns to its true form with this blowout. Prediction: Saints win 41-10 Ravens at Falcons: Jemp: Ravens, Reeb: Ravens, Alx: Falcons, Screw: Falcons First, let’s give Lamar Jackson some credit: He’s won his first 2 starts as a rookie, which isn’t easy to do in the NFL. However, he’s thrown for 1 touchdown and 3 interceptions while beating the sputtering Raiders and Bengals during that stretch. Will he heed Michael Vick’s advice and try to rush less against this Falcons defense? Will the Ravens ride Gus Edwards to victory over the Falcons? I guess they’ll try. Prediction: Falcons win 24-13 Panthers at Buccaneers: Jemp: Panthers, Reeb: Panthers, Alx: Panthers, Screw: Panthers The Panthers have suffered 3 straight losses: A Thursday night blowout at home to Pittsburgh, a loss to the Lions at Ford Field, and a loss because of a missed field goal to the surging Seahawks. And yet, nobody can even picture the Tampa Bay Buccaneers winning this game. As a matter of fact, it’s easier to predict how this game goes. Alx has given you a version of this story before but here it is again: Jameis goes out and throws 3 interceptions in the first half as the Panthers storm out to a 35-point lead. Jameis gets benched at halftime. Ryan Fitzpatrick comes in and plays well enough to make the loss look not as bad and leads the number one offense in the NFL to 28 points…just good enough to start the week after and get benched in the first half. Repeat. At the end of the season the Bucs decide to Koet ties with Dirk Koetter before he gets the chance to Koet one of the QBs himself. I only get to write one of these a year. Prediction: Panthers win 38-28 Bears at Giants: Jemp: Bears, Reeb: Bears, Alx: Bears, Screw: Bears Remember when Eli Manning brought out the heroics and beat the 1-8 49ers on a last minute touchdown a few weeks ago? It was all smiles and cheers. OBJ said the Giants would “run the table”, and then they beat the Bucs. After that, they had the chance to take advantage of a divisional rival that had just lost by 41 points the week prior. But they didn’t. Now they have to play a part in potentially giving Chase Daniel another win and even worse, more guaranteed money in his future contract. Way to go, 2018 Giants. Prediction: Bears win 24-14 Bills at Dolphins: Jemp: Dolphins, Reeb: Bills, Alx: Dolphins, Screw: Bills This is the game that makes you hate the pickem. Nobody wants to pick either of these teams. Nobody has anything good to say about these teams. It’s an awful game that should just end in a tie. You know what? I’m just going to link you to a 7-year-old video that may be dated, but visually relevant to how I’m feeling about having to write a blurb for this game: “Now we’re lucky to squeak one past the Bills…and the Bills suck.” Prediction: Dolphins win 20-15 Colts at Jaguars: Jemp: Colts, Reeb: Colts, Alx: Colts, Screw: Colts Jason Witten is known as one of the best commentators in the sports broadcasting industry for his in depth insight on football. Last week he so eloquently stated that “The Jaguars have been bad.” That’s it. That’s all he said, almost out of the blue. He wasn’t wrong. Last week’s game against the Bills took a toll on the Jaguars. This wasn’t just any game; it was the Doug Marrone revenge game. Leonard Fournette got so passionate about it he jumped off the bench and started fist fighting Shaq Lawson in his helmet, which earned him a one game suspension. He then tried to appeal that suspension like it was no big deal and lost. Now the Cody Kessler super powered, Fournette-less offense plays a red hot Colts team. Let’s see how that works out for them. Prediction: Colts win 33-0 Browns at Texans: Jemp: Texans, Reeb: Texans, Alx: Browns, Screw: Texans The Browns offense has completely changed under Freddie Kitchens and Baker Mayfield is having a great rookie season. I think this will be a telling game for them if they can end this 8 game winning streak for the Texans. It all comes down to coach Gregg Williams, who will have to put his phone on do not disturb mode to avoid distracting job offers and keep coaching this team up. This week he told the media that he can’t keep up with all the calls and voicemails he’s been getting. Coaching jobs, congratulations, “This is the IRS” fake calls, Dancing With The Stars, you name it, he’s probably been called about it. He’s the most popular guy in the world but he’ll have to put his ego aside for another week and do what Hue Jackson could not; coach this team well. Prediction: Browns win 23-21 Broncos at Bengals: Jemp: Broncos, Reeb: Broncos, Alx: Broncos, Screw: Broncos Oh boy, the Domata Peko revenge game. The leader of the Broncos defense might just get that revenge against the Bengals and Jeff Driskell. A.J. Green is likely to come back this week which should help the Bengals offense just a little bit, but typically when your starting quarterback goes down your team gets worse. It doesn’t help that the Broncos just beat the Chargers and Steelers while the Bengals just lost to the Ravens and Browns. Prediction: Broncos win 27-10 Rams at Lions: Jemp: Lions, Reeb: Rams, Alx: Rams, Screw: Rams The Rams are coming fresh off a bye after a historic performance on Monday Night Football. Their offense is virtually unstoppable, and you can only have so many Darius Slays to try and slow the receivers. Even then, you’d have to have some stout linemen to stop Todd Gurley. They’ve tried to fill that gap with Snacks Harrison, who’s played well in his role. If only they had one other guy in the interior to stop him…can’t quite remember his name. Would be a shame if he played for the opposing team in a revenge game and committed an unnecessary roughness penalty for old time’s sake while pummeling his former team. Prediction: Rams win 45-20 Cardinals at Packers: Jemp: Packers, Reeb: Packers, Pep: Packers, Screw: Packers This was an exciting matchup in January 2016. Things have kind of changed since then…both teams suck. The Packers have a 3% chance to make the playoffs while the Cardinals basically have a 0% chance to win another game. It’s 2018 and the “Call Kurt Warner” joke could still be taken seriously. This may be a stretch but I think Byron Leftwich could actually put on some pads and play better than Josh Rosen. He was an OVR 87 in Madden 07. People don’t forget. Prediction: Packers win 34-14 Chiefs at Raiders: Jemp: Chiefs, Reeb: Chiefs, Alx: Chiefs, Screw: Chiefs Just like the Rams, the Chiefs are coming off of a bye from a historic Monday Night Football game. Although they didn’t get the W, they scored 51 points. That’s kind of close to a third of what the Raiders offense has put up all year. Let’s take a look at some of the starters on the 2014 and 2018 Raiders offenses and see why that is. 2014: QB Derek Carr, RB Darren McFadden, WR Andre Holmes, WR James Jones, TE Mychal Rivera 2018: QB Derek Carr, RB Doug Martin, WR Seth Roberts, WR Jordy Nelson, TE Jared Cook Some people might see the similarities: First round busts for running backs, Seth Roberts and Andre Holmes being Seth Roberts and Andre Holmes, and former Packers underachieving for a really bad team, which leaves Mychal Rivera and Jared Cook being the only ones to make a play every 3 games. Do you want me to make you even more depressed, Raiders fans? Dan Fouts is calling your game. All game you’ll have to hear “Look where he threw that ball…to Tyreek Hill” or “Kareem Hunt is involved in this football game” or “The Raiders are now down 4 touchdowns” and of course the old “Jon Gruden has a unique ability to make players hate playing football.” Prediction: Chiefs win 48-6 Jets at Titans: Jemp: Titans, Reeb: Titans, Pep: Titans, Screw: Titans But PFJ team, how can we be you hard on the Titans in the pickem every week but pick them here? Well, many PFJ readers, that’s because the Jets have failed to put up more than 17 points in a game since week 7. That’s pretty bad. We all wanted McCown to be the answer and bring some life back into Robby Anderson Nation but sometimes things just don’t go the way you want them to. This is a dark moment for the staff and the pickem, but here we are unanimously picking the Titans. Prediction: Titans win 20-9 49ers at Seahawks: Jemp: Seahawks, Reeb: Seahawks, Alx: Seahawks, Screw: Seahawks This would’ve been an exciting matchup if it were 2013. Heck, it could’ve been at least a little fun if the 49ers weren’t so banged up. But the Richard Sherman revenge game isn’t shaping up to play out like that. Outside of Richard Sherman, there aren’t many guys on this team capable of stopping the Seahawks from fighting for that wild card spot. Prediction: Seahawks win 34-20 Vikings at Patriots: Jemp: Vikings, Reeb: Patriots, Alx: Patriots, Screw: Patriots Last week was a great confidence booster for Kirk and the Vikings. Not only was Kirk lighting it up against the banged up Packers secondary, but Dalvin Cook was even getting in on the action too. This game could be a pretty high scoring affair and a fun one to watch. The Vikings will need to lean on Kirk heavily in this one to pull through and stay alive in the playoff hunt. I just don’t know if they’ll be able to beat Brady at home in this one. And who could forget the Cordarrelle Patterson revenge game? He’ll rush for 2 touchdowns, as a wide receiver should. Prediction: Patriots win 38-34 Chargers at Steelers: Jemp: Chargers, Reeb: Steelers, Alx: Chargers, Screw: Steelers This one’s an intriguing matchup. Both teams just lost in similar fashion to the Broncos. The Chargers had a nice bounce back, bullying the Cardinals to a 45-10 win. They made Josh Rosen play so badly that refs were hitting him with flags as he was scrambling to get him off the field. The Chargers will be missing Melvin Gordon this week but I think Joey Bosa and the Chargers defense gives them a little more of an edge in this one. Prediction: Chargers win 27-24 Redskins at Eagles: Jemp: Eagles, Reeb: Eagles, Alx: Redskins, Screw: Eagles The Redskins haven’t won on Monday Night Football since 2014. Which QB started that game? Colt McCoy. Enough said. This will be a sad broadcast for me, though, as I won’t get to hear Jon Gruden speak volumes about Carson Wentz’s North Dakota toughness and make me feel like a pussy for not being from North Dakota. Maybe a player will go to the locker room to use the restroom and Booger will call him a pussy for not just going while he’s sitting on the bench like he did to OBJ. Yeah, that’ll do…I guess. Miss you Jon. Prediction: Redskins win 17-16 Let’s take a look at the standings:
Pep: 100-61 Reeb: 99-62 Jemp: 96-65 Screw: 95-66 Alx: 93-68 Let’s not dwell on the standings, and get right into picking games! Bears at Lions: Jemp: Lions, Reeb: Bears, Pep: Bears, Screw: Bears Thanksgiving is the time of year that brings us joy and removes all fear, unless of course you have to face Khalil Mack and this Bears defense. The Lions were able to muster up an impressive win last week, but this Bears defense is the best in the league when at full strength. With Kerryon Johnson and Marvin Jones banged up, I don’t see the Lions being able to score enough points to keep up with Mitche… Okay, maybe they can, but I’m still taking the Bears. Prediction: Bear win 20-13 Redskins at Cowboys: Jemp: Cowboys, Reeb: Cowboys, Pep: Redskins, Screw: Redskins Rough injury for Alex Smith who had been lighting up the skies for the Redskins. Somehow I think Colt McCoy can match his prolific passing numbers though, and the Redskins will continue to roll against the Cowboys on Thanksgiving. It will be a happy Turkey Day for all, except for Cowboys fans. Prediction: Redskins win 200-0 Falcons at Saints: Jemp: Saints, Reeb: Saints, Pep: Saints, Screw: Saints I’m going to take another victory lap for taking the Saints as the best team in the league going into this year, but I don’t think I expected this out of them. I don’t know if they can keep up these ridiculous routes, but they have clearly been the best team in the league for the past month, and there aren’t many teams that come close. Just ask the Eagles, as they suffered the worst loss ever by a defending Super Bowl champion. And the best part of this offense is that you don’t have to worry about any of your fantasy players taking off the second half, because Sean Payton is relentless. Sportsmanship be damned, this team is a steamroller and every other team in the NFC is a whatever the hell a steamroller runs over. I’ll work on a better analogy for next time. Prediction: Saints win 42-24 Browns at Bengals: Jemp: Browns, Reeb: Bengals, Pep: Browns, Screw: Browns It’s not often that Reeb is the only one to believe in his Bengals, but somehow he’s deluded himself into thinking they are the better team here. His logic is that the Bengals always own the Browns. However, I don’t think this is because they have some secret edge over the Browns, but rather because the Browns have been owned by every single other team in the league in recent years. This year is different, and the Bengals are one of the worst teams in the league with all their injuries. Their only receiving threat outside of their running backs is Tyler Boyd, and they have perhaps the worst defense in the league. Maybe this changes if AJ Green returns, but the Browns are a far better team right now, despite autocorrect refusing to believe what I’m typing. Prediction: Browns win 31-17 49ers at Buccaneers: Jemp: Bucs, Reeb: Bucs, Pep: 49ers, Screw: 49ers I feel as if I should just refer you to my last blurb when Fitzpatrick was benched. Or the one when Jameis was benched. Or the next one that Jameis is benched 2 weeks from now. I think you can see where this one is going. The Bucs still have the number one offense in the league, unless of course you actually care how many points a team scores outside of garbage time. While I think Jameis will continue to move this offense against a poor 49ers defense, I can honestly say I trust Nick Mullens more, even if he wasn’t quite the revelation I had hoped for. Prediction: 49ers win 27-24 Jaguars at Bills: Jemp: Jaguars, Reeb: Jaguars, Pep: Bills, Screw: Jaguars If you haven’t been a fan of the excess scoring in the NFL this year, this is the game for you. This game might feature fewer first downs than Chiefs-Rams had touchdowns. If only Nathan Peterman was in the game to boost scoring with some pick-sixes. But I guess if high numbers hurt your head, then you like that Josh Allen will produce a more conservative approach to slow down the game and help out the top defense in the league. Okay, he probably ends up helping last year’s top defense instead, so despite the embarrassing season, I have to take the Jags. If the Bills were starting Matt Barkley, I might reconsider. Prediction: Jaguars win 3-0 Raiders at Ravens: Jemp: Ravens, Reeb: Ravens, Pep: Ravens, Screw: Ravens Someday a movie will be made about a group of misfit athletes in Oakland that managed to look like a professional football team and defeat the 2-7 Arizona Cardinals. The movie will have to end there, because it might be depressing if it continues and you find out they are actually supposed to be a real NFL team and then they lose the rest of their games. They can start with a Ravens team that didn’t want to break out any real offense last week and shouldn’t have to this week either. Maybe they can just run Lamar Jackson another 27 times and hope no one on the Raiders cares enough to hit him. Prediction: Ravens win 22-10 Seahawks at Panthers: Jemp: Seahawks, Reeb: Seahawks, Pep: Seahawks, Screw: Seahawks It is pretty sad when this is the only game that I want to watch in the 1:00 slate of games. However, maybe it a good thing that I can focus on a pivotal matchup for the fate of the NFC Wild Card. Then again, you should all know where I’m going with this one. I spent one disappointing week with one foot on the Panthers bandwagon, but I quickly dove headlong off that thing. I have stuck on the Seahawks bandwagon since around week 4, and still believe they can make some noise in the NFC. Even without the help of their twelves, I think they will take care of business on the road. Prediction: Seahawks win 24-17 Patriots at Jets: Jemp: Patriots, Reeb: Patriots, Pep: Patriots, Screw: Patriots It’s such a relief to have a classic AFC East battle back after having the whole division on a bye last week. The Patriots are out to prove that they are still the class of the AFC, as they watched the Chiefs and Chargers suffer losses last week, moving they one step toward another playoff bye. However, they have now suffered bad losses to the Jaguars, Lions, and Titans this year, which is pretty unusual for the Patriots. We all remember them bouncing back from some tough losses in the past, but the reason people overreacted to those is because they were so few and far between. This year, they have gotten smashed by three teams that would be thrilled to be called mediocre. It is starting to feel like the dynasty is starting to come to an end, but even if it does, they could still destroy the Jets. Prediction: Patriots win 34-17 Giants at Eagles: Jemp: Eagles, Reeb: Eagles, Pep: Eagles, Screw: Giants That one got ugly in a hurry for the Eagles. I know the Saints have been destroying everyone, but the Eagles somehow lost by more than the Bengals did, and the Bengals have been awful. Carson Wentz delivered an absolute stinker, and the secondary must be causing Odell Beckham to be foaming at the mouth. He should be especially excited since Eli Manning seems to have realized his offense might be more successful if they throw the ball down the field. Better late than never I suppose, as I think the Giants get their third straight win after OBJ said they could run the table. Prediction: Giants win 28-24 Cardinals at Chargers: Jemp: Chargers, Reeb: Chargers, Pep: Chargers, Screw: Chargers The Chargers should be allowed to volunteer to play all their games on the road. That seems to be their best chance to avoid these Charger-esque performances. However, a one-point loss to the Broncos isn’t all that embarrassing, as the Broncos have played a lot of good team tight. Another thing that might help the Chargers is to always go for two, and always go for it on 4th down in field goal range. Essentially, just cut your kicker to open up another roster spot, and they can avoid these special teams gaffs. It’s nothing against you Michael Badgley, you’ve been good, but the curse of Chargers will always catch up with anyone who plays for them. Prediction: Chargers win 27-10 Dolphins at Colts: Jemp: Colts, Reeb: Colts, Pep: Colts, Screw: Colts Is Tannehill back for this game? Oh, that’s right, no one cares, not even Dolphins fans. The Dolphins are set to face a Colts offense that is rolling right now. They are averaging 36 points per game over their last 5 games. You know the last time the Dolphins put up 36+ points? I’m assuming you don’t, because I doubt even someone with a photographic memory would remember the Dolphins v. Titans in 2015. I don’t think the Dolphins return to that glorious form, and the Colts continue this winning streak. Prediction: Colts win 38-14 Steelers at Broncos: Jemp: Steelers, Reeb: Steelers, Pep: Steelers, Screw: Steelers I am so tempted to take the Broncos here, but I told myself I would stop making picks just because I like to lone-wolf. However, as I mentioned earlier, the Broncos are no pushover. Their defense might not be in Super Bowl form, but Von Miller and Bradley Chubb can heat up a quarterback as well as any duo in the league. Throw in the two-headed rookie rushing attack on the other side, and this could be a dangerous team, if only they had a passing game. Unfortunately for the Broncos, the passing game reigns supreme in today’s NFL, so I’m sticking with the Steelers. Prediction: Steelers win 24-20 Packers at Vikings: Jemp: Vikings, Reeb: Vikings, Pep: Vikings, Screw: Packers That was a rough performance by the Vikings offense. Their lack of options on offense is becoming increasingly evident with each passing week. Dalvin Cook ended their best drive of the first three quarters with a fumble, and they only were able to move the ball when throwing to Thielen or Diggs. No offense to Chad Beebe and Aldrick Robinson, but an offense can’t function when it has to target just one of two players on every play. I do mean offense to Laquon Treadwell though. At least the defense looks like it is getting right, and I am still holding out hope that the offense figures it out. It looked good last time they played the Packers so I’m taking the Vikes at home. Prediction: Vikings win 31-21 Texans at Titans: Jemp: Texans, Reeb: Texans, Pep: Texans, Screw: Titans Finally, we get a good Monday Night Football game. I should apologize to Titans fans as I disrespected their team by saying they were going to lose 47-0. They only lost 38-10, so I must congratulate them on their effort. Anyway, I think I have poked enough fun at the Texans for one pick’em, and my memory is a bit fuzzy as to what happened in the Texans game, so I’m just going to pick the Texans and go eat some Turkey. Prediction: Texans win 27-13 Let’s take a look at the standings:
Pep: 93-55 Reeb: 91-57 Alx: 87-61 Jemp: 87-61 Screw: 86-62 Screw is now just a game back of Jemp and me. He could easily sneak back into this race, as things start to tighten up. Let’s pick some games. Packers at Seahawks: Jemp: Seahawks, Reeb: Seahawks, Pep: Seahawks, Screw: Seahawks As I mentioned last week, the Packers got a little break from this rough patch in their schedule last week, but now they are back at it with a game in Seattle on Thursday Night. People expecting a Seahawks decline might feel validated by their 4-5 record, but this is a team as dangerous as Baker Mayfield felt last Sunday. There have been 27 different players that have a 100-yard rushing day this year, and 3 of them play for the Seahawks. The only other team with more than one is the Saints, with their duo of Ingram and Kamara. A couple weeks ago, I said I wasn’t picking against the Seahawks at home anymore, and a couple close losses to LA teams haven’t changed my mind. Prediction: Seahawks win 30-27 Bengals at Ravens: Jemp: Ravens, Reeb: Ravens, Pep: Ravens, Screw: Ravens Remember when I said I was excited about the Bengals defense this year? I haven’t felt this wrong since I said Bishop Sankey would be the fantasy rookie of the year. Maybe that’s when I gave up on the Titans. Sorry, it’s bad enough that I have to talk about the Titans in their game blurb. I shouldn’t let them bleed into this one. Besides, I have to mention the fact that Lamar Jackson could start this game, or maybe it will be RGIII as I suggested. I suspect we are still stuck with Joe Flacco though, but the Bengals defense might make even him look exciting. Prediction: Ravens win 30-13 Cowboys at Falcons: Jemp: Falcons, Reeb: Cowboys, Pep: Falcons, Screw: Cowboys The Cowboys got a much-needed win last week after their gluttonous grinder feasted on the Eagles defense. That would be Zeke, for those of you who are unfamiliar with his typical post-play antics or if you just struggle with vocabulary. We don’t judge at ProFootballJokes, unless you are an NFL player, in which case it’s kind of our job. And by that measure, I will assess that Dak had a solid game on SNF, but he still couldn’t hit the deep ball, and I don’t think this offense can keep up with the Falcons at home. They had a bit of a letdown last week, but I expect them to rebound this week as their best player on defense might return. Prediction: Falcons win 28-24 Buccaneers at Giants: Jemp: Giants, Reeb: Bucs, Pep: Bucs, Screw: Giants Ryan Fitzmagic continues to lead what is by far the #1-ranked passing offense in the league in terms of yards gained. Unfortunately, that didn’t translate into points last week which is what the NFL usually measures to determine the winner of the game. However it does bode well for them that they are playing a Giants offense that is 24th in yards per game and 26th in points per game. Then again, maybe Odell was right and this Giants team is going to run the table and make the playoffs. Stranger things have… nevermind. Prediction: Buccaneers win 27-20 Steelers at Jaguars: Jemp: Steelers, Reeb: Steelers, Pep: Steelers, Screw: Steelers Pep told me he is adding the Jaguars to his “never pick” list. They spent so many years on the list and it looked like it would be a long time before they returned. Now they are right back where they began, at the very bottom of a mediocre AFC South. At least this game will bring back memories of how they swept the Steelers last year, until of course the Steelers walk all a defense that has lost both its bark and its bite. Prediction: Steelers win 34-14 Texans at Redskins: Jemp: Texans, Reeb: Texans, Pep: Redskins, Screw: Texans You guys all know I love Deshaun Watson, but not even he can stop the might of the Redskins. I’ll say he does the impossible though and manages a field goal. Prediction: Redskins win 100-3 Titans at Colts: Jemp: Colts, Reeb: Colts, Pep: Colts, Screw: Colts Great win by the Titans. They absolutely dominated the Patriots on both sides of the ball. Their defense got after him with some creative blitzes and Jurrell Casey was the difference maker he always is. Brian Orakpo got into the mix as well along with rookie Harold Landry. Even their offense looked great, with Corey Davis stepping up and dominating Stephon Gilmore who had been playing as well as any corner in the NFL. Marcus Mariota made clutch plays, and the Titans routed what has been the dominant NFL team for the past two decades. Titans fans should enjoy this, because I don’t remotely believe in its staying power. Prediction: Colts win 47-0 Panthers at Lions: Jemp: Lions, Reeb: Panthers, Pep: Panthers, Screw: Panthers Of course as soon as I jump on the Panthers bandwagon, this happens. I said I expected the offensive line and secondary to be problems this year, and despite being good all season, these were the biggest two issues on Thursday Night. Cam was under heavy duress all night while Donte Jackson and company were torched by Antonio Brown and Ju Ju Smith-Schuster. I’m back off the bandwagon, but I still think they are able to beat a reeling Lions team. They also can’t protect their quarterback, and they can’t play defense, and they no longer have their best receiver. But hey, at least they have someone who can rush for 100 yards. Prediction: Panthers win 23-20 Broncos at Chargers: Jemp: Chargers, Reeb: Chargers, Pep: Chargers, Screw: Chargers Sorry Chargers, you finally have to return to the StubHub Center. They went 6 weeks without returning to that wretched place and they haven’t lost during that stretch. Now they are back, and in past years, I would think this is just the type of game the Chargers would lose. But finally, this season feels different. I may have said it before, but not this late in the year, and not with the Chargers at 7-2. We almost forgot the Broncos existed thanks to their bye week, so this should be an easy win for the Bolts. It would also be cool if Joey Bosa came back eventually. Prediction: Chargers win 24-20 Raiders at Cardinals: Jemp: Cardinals, Reeb: Cardinals, Pep: Cardinals, Screw: Cardinals You know these are dark times for the Raiders when we are unanimously picking the Cardinals to beat them. I’m even writing this before I’ve seen everyone else’s picks, but I feel confident in assuming no one is picking the Raiders. They weren’t even that bad last week, but they clearly have no talent and I don’t think a single person wants to be affiliated with that team. But at least the first round picks Jon Gruden has aren’t asking to be released. Prediction: Cardinals win 24-10 Eagles at Saints: Jemp: Saints, Reeb: Saints, Pep: Saints, Screw: Saints If there is a single chink in the Saints armor, it’s that Terron Armstead is going to miss a few weeks. That is good news for the Eagles since they can attack that weakness with their strength, which is still their pass rush. Of course, there is still no way they beat the Saints, especially in the Superdome. Their pass rush might be good, but their secondary is a mess, so how can they stop Brandon Marshall? Of course, Brandon Marshall has never made the playoff, so maybe his curse could bring down the Saints. I find it more likely that if he is cursed it would just make him get cut before January. Either that or his current talent level. Prediction: Saints win 38-24 Vikings at Bears: Jemp: Vikings, Reeb: Vikings, Pep: Bears, Screw: Bears Now this is a Sunday Night game I can get behind. These might be the two best defenses in the NFL right now, and yet I expect the offense will still be able to put up some points. That’s how things go in 2018. Ultimately, I could never pick Mitchell Trubisky to beat Kirk Cousins, so obviously I’m going with the Vikings. Just remember though, every time we start to count out Jordan Howard, he comes on strong with a monster game even when nothing points towards it. Prediction: Vikings win 27-21 Chiefs at Rams: Jemp: Rams, Reeb: Rams, Pep: Rams, Screw: Chiefs The field conditions in Mexico must be pretty terrible for the NFL to think it’s safer for the game to be played amidst a blaze of wildfires. I guess it brings some extra excitement to one of the best games of the year. I’d give the edge to Mahomes over Goff, and McVay over Andy Reid (but just barely). The Rams have more talent on defense but the Chiefs have been playing better as of late. However, I still think the Rams defense is better, and don’t discount the Marcus Peters revenge game. He has had rough stretches in his career, but he’s always bounced back with some truly game-changing performances. I think he could be the difference in this one, just stealing one possession that could be the difference. Prediction: Rams win 37-35 Let’s take a look at the standings:
Pep: 84-50 Reeb: 84-50 Jemp: 80-54 Alx: 79-55 Screw: 77-57 Reeb and Pep are tied again at the top of the standings, and Jemp leapfrogged me as he won the week. However, this race is still a close one, so let’s pick some games. Panthers at Steelers: Jemp: Steelers, Reeb: Steelers, Pep: Steelers, Screw: Steelers Finally a matchup between two surging teams on TNF. I admitted on our podcast that the Panthers are the team I have been most wrong about this year. I looked at their offensive line and secondary and thought those issues were too great for them to overcome. Instead, both groups have been assets, to go along with a fearsome front seven and an unconventional but dangerous group of skill players who are being used creatively by Norv Turner. But what scares me the most about the Panthers is that Cam has been hot, and there isn’t anyone around who can stop when he is in this form. All due respect to the Steelers, who have been equally good, but I’m tired of picking against the Panthers, and I can’t resist the lone wolf on Thursday Night. Prediction: Panthers win 27-24 Saints at Bengals: Jemp: Saints, Reeb: Saints, Pep: Saints, Screw: Saints It’s rough when you come off your bye week missing your best offensive player. Now the Bengals are counting on Andy Dalton to keep up with Drew Brees when all he has is Tyler Boyd to throw to. That seems unlikely when Drew Brees now has Dez Bryant as his top target. Who cares about that Michael Thomas guy? He cost his team 15 yards on a kickoff after scoring the game-icing touchdown. The Saints can’t have someone with that kind of divisive personality, so Dez Bryant was obviously the guy to bring in. Prediction: Saints win 35-17 Falcons at Browns: Jemp: Falcons, Reeb: Falcons, Pep: Falcons, Screw: Falcons You would think that John Dorsey could have waited until after the Chiefs game to fire Hue Jackson. Instead, he threw the much-sought-after Gregg Williams right into the fire set ablaze by the presumptive MVP. Now Gregg will have to gameplan against an offense that is almost as hot, all while fending off the endless job offers that are pouring in. I wish I could pick the Browns here, but every time I look at their logo-less helmet, I just can’t picture a team that wins these types of games. The good news is that the team can lose out and Browns fans can still say that they are heading in the right direction. Prediction: Falcons win 28-24 Lions at Bears: Jemp: Lions, Reeb: Bears, Pep: Bears, Screw: Bears Remember when people got excited about the Lions beating two Hall of Fame quarterbacks? Now we are more than halfway through the regular season, and they haven’t beaten anyone else. Oh, except Ryan Tannehill, I always seem to forget that guy. I’m beginning to miss the old Lions, who may have been a lot of things, but boring wasn’t one of them. The loss of Golden Tate looms large for what used to be a quick passing offense, and Jemp might have to finally face his fear of Khalil Mack, as it looks as if he may return for this game. That isn’t good for a team that just allowed 10 sacks. Prediction: Bears win 20-13 Cardinals at Chiefs: Jemp: Chiefs, Reeb: Chiefs, Pep: Chiefs, Screw: Chiefs It’s always sad when a game fit for primetime is buried in the 1:00 slate of games. Fortunately, Scott Hanson might be going to this game a lot as the Chiefs seem to live in the redzone, especially when I don’t trust the Cardinals to possess the ball at all. Either that or the Chiefs get lazy and simply let the Cardinals shoot themselves in the foot. Maybe get the confidence of their defense up with this cozy stretch of games. Prediction: Chiefs win 35-10 Patriots at Titans: Jemp: Patriots, Reeb: Patriots, Pep: Patriots, Screw: Patriots It was fun lone-wolfing the Titans last week, even if it took me an inordinate number of Bellinis to watch that game. I’ll probably never do it again, but it was an experience. I’m certainly not going to do it against the Patriots, no matter how many revenge games are happening at once for the Titans. It is going to be pretty weird watching Mike Vrabel coach against the guy who used to be his coach, and the quarterback who has thrown 16 touchdown passes to him. It’s a fun storyline that almost makes me want to watch this game. Prediction: Patriots win 38-7 Redskins at Buccaneers: Jemp: Bucs, Reeb: Bucs, Pep: Bucs, Screw: Redskins I might enjoy the Ryan Fitzmagic run, but there is no way he can beat the Redskins. Who need offensive linemen? Or receivers? The Redskins dominate as always. Prediction: Redskins win 100-0 Bills at Jets: Jemp: Jets, Reeb: Jets, Pep: Jets, Screw: Jets I wouldn’t be averse to lone-wolfing the Bills if Sam Darnold was playing this game. However, it’s Josh McCown, who knows exactly what he needs to do to win games. He gets the ball to Robby Anderson, and I don’t care how good Tre’Davious White is, Robby will take over this game. Easy. That and [fill in the blank] is playing quarterback for the Bills. Yeah, we don’t know who it is going to be right now, but pretty much any option you write there will instill the same feeling about the Bills. Prediction: Jets win 17-7 Jaguars at Colts: Jemp: Colts, Reeb: Jaguars, Pep: Colts, Screw: Jaguars It’s time to find out who is better coming off the bye week, Frank Reich or Doug Marrone? However, the Jags had the chance to save their season in London, and they blew it. No way they can beat this Colts team who is flying high after two straight wins against the Bills and Raiders. How could anyone not be impressed by that? Anyway, this Jaguars team just feels broken to me, and I would hope that the bravado of their defense could give them a spark, but right now I’d rather put my trust in Andrew Luck. Prediction: Colts win 20-17 Chargers at Raiders: Jemp: Chargers, Reeb: Chargers, Pep: Chargers, Screw: Chargers I guess the schedule-makers just wanted to put as many lopsided games in this week as possible. We saw last Thursday that the Raiders have completely given up on their coach. Either that or they just suck. Either way, they aren’t going to enjoy facing this Chargers team, who are probably enjoying this long break they have gotten from their home stadium. They will have to return eventually, but this week they can just enjoy the shellacking they can give the Raiders. Prediction: Chargers win 42-14 Seahawks at Rams: Jemp: Rams, Reeb: Rams, Pep: Rams, Screw: Rams The Rams suffered a tough loss at the hands of the Saints but I don’t think less of them as a team because of it. Any team could, and probably would, lose to the Saints in the Superdome right now. However, I still like this Seahawks team that put up a solid fight despite getting outplayed by a superior team in the Chargers. Even though he came up short, we did get to see some Russell Wilson magic that has been lacking this season. I wouldn’t be surprised if we got a vintage Russ game in this one, but I just can’t pick the Rams to lose two in a row. Maybe if it was in Seattle I would do it. Prediction: Rams win 31-28 Dolphins at Packers: Jemp: Packers, Reeb: Packers, Pep: Packers, Screw: Packers The Packers finally get a break from their gauntlet of a schedule with a matchup against the Dolphins. I’m assuming no one cares, but Ryan Tannehill is still out. I watched redzone from start to finish last week, and I’m not sure if they showed a single Dolphins snap on offense. Not that I’m complaining. Enjoy this one Packers, because after this they go to Seattle and then Minnesota. But this week, they can just R-E-L-A-X. Prediction: Packers win 30-17 Cowboys at Eagles: Jemp: Eagles, Reeb: Eagles, Pep: Eagles, Screw: Eagles Surprisingly adding Amari Cooper didn’t solve all the Cowboys problems. In fact, they managed a loss to the Titans who in theory should just be a worse version of the Cowboys. Maybe Jerry Jones finally realized that this Cowboys team isn’t quite a super bowl contender. The Eagles are yet to be eliminated from that conversation, as they are the defending champs and have been getting better just about every week. Even if they don’t get back to super bowl form, they should have no problem with this Cowboys team. Prediction: Eagles win 24-14 Giants at 49ers: Jemp: 49ers, Reeb: 49ers, Pep: Giants, Screw: Giants I guess this is how the NFL punishes ESPN for hiring Jason Witten. If you are going to put this matchup in primetime, then do it early when people can still convince themselves that these teams might be relevant. However, at least we get to watch the most exciting rookie in the league, as Nick Mullens lit the world on fire last week. He could put Jimmy G on notice with another good performance this week. Prediction: 49ers win 31-27 |
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